Navigating the Parenting Journey

"Congratulations, it's a boy!" Those were the first words I heard when Nicholas was born. I was now the proud parent of a 7-pound baby who relied on me for everything. Being a mother has been the best experience ever. Still, looking back – I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

In my early 20s, I followed a pretty typical life path. I graduated college, got married, bought a house, and decided it was time to have a baby. Nick was well planned because I was working as a teacher and wanted to deliver in the summer so I wouldn't be taking off during the school year. In my planning, I made lists and budgets to ensure we could afford a baby. I factored in things like formula, diapers, clothes, and childcare. I thought I was well prepared.

As I see it today, all of my planning was still very limited. When I was pregnant, I looked at it like many do – I was having a baby. In reality, I was having a whole person who would be an adult in a very short time. I was responsible for ensuring he was prepared to be a good person and a productive member of society. I was responsible for teaching him to understand his emotions and deal with setbacks. I was responsible for showing him unconditional love so he would know how to love others. And so much more needed to be completed in 18 years (or so). It's so much more than just having a baby.

Throughout many conversations, I've been asked how I go about parenting my college-age kids. The 18 or so years I spoke about earlier have since passed. So, does that mean my window of time to raise my children is over? Well, kind of.

Parenting is a journey that transforms with each new step in life. Responsibilities with an infant are different than with a toddler, then a preschooler, a school-age kid, a teen, a young adult, and even an adult. No matter how old my kids are, I'm still their parent and will have a role to play. The key is knowing what to do at each point in the journey.

As a parent of college-age kids, my role looks very different than it did just a few years ago. The first years were used to instill all of the skills and qualities that they would need. I taught them the rules to follow and which ones you can break :) Now, the dynamic has shifted, and my role is to provide support for them. It's my time to step back and allow them the space to put all of those lessons into practice to create the life they want. Transitioning from leader to supporter is not for the faint of heart. Sometimes, you want to step in because you can see the bigger picture, but it's time for them to learn the lessons they need and know I'm there if they need it.

Some of the things you need to think about when parenting a college student are:

- Understanding their transition and recognizing the stress and anxiety that comes along with this change.

- Evaluate your communication strategies to ensure you are meeting them where they are. This includes using apps they prefer and timing that works for them.

- Offering mental and emotional support when needed, without judgment

- Encouraging financial responsibility and budgeting skills

- Learn how to be an active listener

Don't be afraid to check in with your kids to see how you are doing, or if they need something different from you. All kids are different and so are their needs. Keeping the relationship strong is up to you!

The next thing you know, your kids will have a career, maybe a family, house, or pets; it just keeps going. We are all on this ongoing journey, a transformative experience that requires adaptability and understanding. Embrace the challenges, provide unwavering support, and navigate each stage with flexibility and LOVE. Parenthood is not a destination; it's a lifelong adventure full of surprises and fulfillment. And in my opinion, the best job ever!