The Circle that Still Includes Me

Somewhere between the glittery eye shadow and the 2 a.m. heart-to-hearts, I realized how lucky I was. I was invited into their world.

I never expected to find myself up past 3:00 a.m., multiple nights in a row, at this stage in my life. I've fully embraced the early wind down and bed by 9:30 in my regular life. But this weekend was anything but regular. I found myself between getting ready sessions and the late night/early morning club scene pick up, surrounded by four young women whose laughter reminded me that life can be both cruel and kind.

It's my daughter Halle's 21st birthday and birthdays are important to me. Through the years I have created themes and games, designed cakes, invited friends, took travel adventures, booked last-minute flights, even organized a full-on Amazing Race across our town - all in the name of birthday fun and celebration. But as my kids get older, I understand that those opportunites are fewer with each passing year.

Halle turning 21 was a milestone that once seemed like a faraway dot on the horizon and suddenly was upon me, shimmering with sequins and the scent of perfume. I flew in to Florida to celebrate with her and lifelong friends. I've known these girls since they were messy-ponytailed kiddos giggling in Halle's room upstairs. Now they stood before me, radiant and grown, makeup and hair tools scattered acoss the room and a different kind of excitement in their voices.

As a Gen X mom, I wasn't exactly part of the club-ready crowd. My outfit was more "comfortable cute" than "night out sparkle", but somehow that didn't matter. What mattered was that I was there, in the mix, and welcomed. Included. Even if my role was Uber driver with water upon pickup, keeper of snacks, and giver of Momma hugs - I was part of the circle again.

The time spent getting ready took me back to my younger years. Being surrounded by people who know you by heart. Music playing from a tiny speaker. There were outfit changes, earrings traded, and last-minute decisions about shoes and socks. I dropped them off on the energetic streets of West Palm Beach to dangling lights and music coming from all directions.

After the night's adventures, the hunger set in. So a late night Taco Bell run was in order, followed by hours of conversation and replaying memories. Their once sleep-over conversations about crushes and school stories have now turned into jobs, relationships, and the enhilarating stage of being 21. Somewhere in the middle of those conversations, I realized just how my role as Momma has changed. And not in a bad way.

I have the blessed opportunity to witness all of these young ladies become who they are meant to be. Making decisions on their own. Strengthening their friendships through growth and evolution. Walking through this world that can be hard and cold, and finding the beauty and peace in it. I am beginning to learn as much or more from them as they do from me. And I'm forever grateful.

Maybe beyond the nest means not letting go, but expanding in a new way. Letting your love stretch wide enough to include new people, new versions of growth, and new rhythms of relationships. I felt it this weekend. In their laughter, in their stories, in the easy way they made space for me. It wasn't about being a "cool mom" or pretending I belonged in their world (I surely do not). It was about being grateful that they still wanted me near it. This is what grace looks like.

It's being trusted to show up.

It's being invited in.

It's realizing that beyond the nest, love soars!