It's Back to School Season!

For many years, August and September in my house was filled with sharpened pencils, Walmart and Target runs to find the perfect school supplies, new shoes and clothes for Nick and Hal, and the energy that comes with fresh starts. The back-to-school season has its own rhythm in every household with chaotic mornings, after-school activities, and endless evenings spent doing math or special projects at the kitchen table.

Now, as an empty nester, I'm an observer of the back-to-school hoopla. Having a senior in college and one already graduated makes my reality look so different. I don't have lunchboxes to pack or carpools to coordinate. I'm not making late-night runs to the store for poster board or a replacement graphing calculator. Instead, there's silence where all the hustle and bustle used to be.

This year, I'm looking back through the years and offering some advice for those who have students who are approaching this new stage.

The New School Year for Me

I've started to think of this season less as "their" back-to-school and more as mine. Each September gives me permission to ask: What do I want to learn this year? What new challenges am I ready to take on? What new skills can I practice?

If you don't have children, or they have already grown, the season is now for you. Maybe it's time to pick up a new hobby, or spend time practicing an old one. Maybe it's time to read the stack of books that is slowly growing with each trip to Barnes and Noble. Maybe it's a new college class to expand your horizons and try something new. There are so many opportunities!

Parallel Lives

Being an empty nester doesn't mean the end of traditions or parenting - it just means shifting your role. While my kids are starting new phases in their lives, I'm starting mine in a new way too. We're living parallel lives now, and that's both strange and beautiful. I'm so proud of them, I could burst!

Finding various ways to stay in contact is key. The typical calls and texts are always good, but having social media has been a lifesaver for this Momma. Seeing a post of Nick golfing in the sun, or watching a vlog from Halle with a grocery haul - literally makes my day! So, if you are a parent with a Freshman kiddo in college, ask them to post what they are up to. It doesn't have to be frequent, or even some big event. I've found delight in knowing they tried a new coffeeshop or were studying for that upcoming final.

Advice for Soon-to-Be or New Empty Nesters

1. Allow yourself to feel it all. Excitement, sadness, pride, maybe even a little panic! Even if they happen all at the same time :)

2. Redefine your space. Add a fresh coat of paint to your bedroom or kitchen, move some furniture around, or repurpose an unused corner. It can help elevate your mood as you look to the future.

3. Stay connected, but not tethered. It may be tempting to call or text every single day, but it's best to create a more natural rhythm of connection that doesn't feel intrusive. They can't spread their wings with you in the way!

4. Invest in yourself. Take a class, join a group, plan a trip. Rediscover the back-to-school season in a new way.

5. Remember that even though it feels like an ending - it's just evolving. This next chapter of time with your kids can be even better than the one before. Promise!